Raising Your Teenager (5 Crucial Skills for Moms and Dads) – Dr. Roger McIntire

About the author:

Roger W. McIntire, professor emeritus, University of Maryland, taught child psychology and principles of family counseling and therapy at the University of Maryland for 32 years. He was also Associate Dean for Undergraduate Studies, directing campus-wide programs to help students succeed and annual summer workshops for anxious parents. He has also been a consultant and teacher of teachers in preschools, grade schools, high schools and colleges.

In his years of research, Dr. McIntire’s publications, over 100 in all, have concerned infant vocalizations, eating problems, strategies in elementary school teaching, high school motivation, and college retention.

As a father of three and grandfather of two boys, his writing blends practical suggestions with story-telling to the books listed below. They have received excellent reviews and awards. Parents’ Choice honored Raising Good Kids in Tough Times with the 1999 “Parenting Shelf- Approved” rating and Parent Council, Ltd. called it “Outstanding.” Both Raising Good Kids in Tough Times and Teenagers and Parents are in press as translations in Germany, Korea, Slovenia, Poland, Thailand, Serbia, and Brazil.

His newspaper column appears regularly in the Martinsburg (WV) Journal and other regional newspapers as well as his website, parentsuccess.com. He is a popular speaker at workshops and seminars for parents, teachers and counselors and has been a guest on hundreds of radio and TV shows. He received the 2001 Award for Effective Presentation of Behavior Analysis in the Mass Media by the Association for Behavior Analysis. In addition he has received the Maryland Excellence in Teaching Award and The National Science Foundation’s Faculty Fellowship on Societal Problems (providing a year’s salary while teaching in Britain).

Learn more about Dr. Roger McIntire at his website: http://rogermcintire.com.

About the book:

Through five simple and practical skills, Dr. McIntire gives parents the tools they need to build a positive and healthy relationship with their teenager and a pleasant home life. The book begins with an analysis of parent-teen communications: talking styles (“Conversation doesn’t make a good competitive sport.”); common misunderstandings (“Teens think, what does this conversation say about ME?”); and strategies for improving conversations (“The first teen remark is long on emotion but short on facts.”).

Raising Your Teenager also discusses habit building (“Your teen should know what he has to lose.”) from the S.A.D. behaviors of drugs, alcohol and sex to online media and video game (“No attention deficit here!”). He also provides insights into effective discipline tactics (“You can’t make a garden just pulling weeds.”).

My take on the book:

While this book is not yet available, I was asked to review this book for Book Dads.  I am an avid reader and make it a goal to at least try and read 5 books a year.  I haven’t done a book review before, but always have plenty of thoughts about books and so I was really honored to be asked to do a review.  As someone who has recently entered the teenage years of parenting, I am looking for books to read on the subject.

To start off with, when I am looking for a book that either challenges me or educates me, I want something that has practical applications to it.  This book has a lot of practical applications.  I am not big on statistics, however he does present statistics throughout the book, but they are not overwhelming.  When reading a book I want to know how a person would go about applying this to their own life on in this case to the lives of their children. I was refreshed to see applications after each topic covered.

The opening is entitled “Knowing How to Talk With Your Teenager.” The discussion is around talking on your kids level.  Too many times, we as parents talk too fast and expect our kids to be able to engage us in adult conversations when they haven’t quite learned those skills.  Maintaining eye contact with them and posture that shows your listening as opposed to just telling them things.  Using listening skills and repeating back to them what you have heard and lastly not tring to fix-it for them.  Getting you kids to talk and using questions that are generalized but specific questions that encourage your kids to talk to you.  In my own experience knowing how each of your own children are wired and being able to speak their language becomes beneficial if you want to have a good relationship with them.

The one chapter I liked the most is “Loving and liking your kids.”  Often times, we tell our kids over and over we love them, but how many times do you actually tell them you really like them.  Many times our children will do things that send us over the edge or we are left wondering “what were they thinking”, I myself have even said that to my teenagers.  Despite their actions, just like us they want to know they are liked.  Towards the end of the chapter he provides the reader with Character Building Strategies, which offers parents a chance to look at how they are doing in this area with their teens.

Overall this book does a very thorough job of tackling most subjects that are important to our teens.  Those subjects include, talking and communications, loving and liking, family games and dynamics, snacks and triggers, bad habits, abuse, negotiations, medications and drugs, money, sex, school, who your child is as a person and heading off to college.

This book is fairly easy read, but I often found myself re-reading certain sections just to make sure I had captured what he was talking about.  This book resonated with me because many of the topics and strategies covered in this book are things I already do with my own children.  I was refreshed to see someone who has put all of this information into one book and is making it available for parents to access.

*** The book will be available August 1st through bookstores nationwide, online at Amazon.com, or directly from the publisher at www.ParentSuccess.com. Price is $17.95.