Father Fiction by Donald Miller — Reviewed by James Rohl

* * *

In a reprint of the book To Own A Dragon Donald Miller talks about growing up without a father and offers some chapter for a fatherless generation. The numbers tell a sad story of effects of missing fathers and the Father Factor effects area from Prisons to Childhood obesity. In Father Fiction Donald Miller goes through his own story of being raised by his mother and looking for father figures after his father left him and his sister. Having a father that was supportive and most importantly there made it a bit harder for me to relate to that glaring gap in the Miller’s life but it also helped me understand a great deal about what a father gives their children that no one else can give.

Through out his own story Miller also layers in chapters with practical advice to that Fatherless Generation the book was written for. Chapters on Authority, Making Decisions, Integrity, and Self Pity are filled with anecdotes and metaphors teaching those things that a father should be teaching organically. Really these chapters are great for anyone to read, father or not, but it is that shadow of the thing that is so sad. Miller is telling these things that should have been shown, that should have been passed down throughout childhood but have not.

It feels to me like this book is geared specifically for boys, and with Miller’s own experience that would make sense. He writes to girls as well but is most moving and most successful I think in dealing with that father wound in the lives of the boys that never learned how to be men from their absent fathers. In the introduction Miller talks about a movement he has started called The Mentoring Project. The Mentoring Project is a program using churches to help mentor 27 million kids growing up without fathers. By going through the hard stuff in this book and admitting that he indeed needed a father he was able to start to tell a bigger story of change. A goal to make father fiction no longer true.

The Mentoring Project – Rewriting the Story from The Mentoring Project on Vimeo.

I enjoyed this book and really love Donald Miller’s writing. He has a unique way of telling hard truths in a soft unassuming way. He is also very funny and the narrative is peppered with great stories that had me laughing. One in particular in Chapter 13 on Work Ethic, Miller talks about living with another family and wanting more then anything to sleep until he was done sleeping. With two kids of my own I know the pull of this desire and utter foolishness in trying accomplish it. After being jumped on and poked by a one and half year old she cried at the top of the stairs, afraid to go down. Half to the pillow and half to the girls he told her to slide down on her butt but she just cried. He threw a pillow to her and said “Roll! Grab the pillow tight and just roll down!” I would recommend this book if you grew up without a father, I would recommend it if you grew up with a father but would like to get involved with those who didn’t, and I would recommend this book if you are a father that needs a little help reminding you how important your role is.